Earlier today, I had a call with a coaching client of mine. A beautifully-spirited, talented, intelligent, compassionate, business owner who has great things going for her.
She sounds amazing, right? A Total Success? Can YOU Relate?
Here’s the tragic thing though…
Her SELF-VALUE is LOW. Incredibly Incredibly LOW.
Her perception of her own value is based on the combination of other people’s opinions, thoughts, comments…then you add in her experiences and her past conditioning. She’s allowed others to define her value and she’s busy apologizing for who she is, what she stands for, and what she believes in.
Matter of fact, she’s spent the better part of her life trying to fit into the molds that others have built for her. The molds that have created a quieter, less outspoken, be accepting of lower standards, don’t try so hard, be less goal oriented, sit in the back corner, and don’t create any upset kind-of-person.
So, in turn, her outcomes have been far less than they should be. Why? Because of her INCONGRUENCY. In other words, she stopped showing up as her natural authentic being; therefore her outcomes are low and her struggles are high.
She struggles for energy and when she musters up enough, it doesn’t last. She rarely commits to goals anymore because she doesn’t believe she’s worth reaching them. She doesn’t speak up. She doesn’t ask for what she needs. She holds back her deepest desires. She cuts her dreams in half. She doesn’t see past her mistakes. She quits before finishing. She doesn’t start many new things because she fears she won’t finish. And so on.
She’s HOLDING Her NATURAL GENIUS HOSTAGE!
So today, we worked on PERMISSION…
We started the process of giving herself permission to experience her uniqueness, her talents, her voice, her opinions, her thoughts, her values, her dreams, her goals, her vision, her feelings, her spirit, and her desires.
One of her discoveries today was that she gave up her permission to be herself when she was told she was too successful.
WHAT? Yes!!! Her past relationship said she was too successful for him, she had too many goals, she wanted too much, she was always trying to achieve more. And he couldn’t keep up with it. So, he talked her into accepting less of herself, her dreams, her goals, her desires… To go against her natural being.
Her Authentic Genius Was Compromised.
She had subconsciously sabotaged herself over a period of time and eventually her outcomes matched her compromised behaviors/actions and her conditioned beliefs about herself. She went from exceeding goals to not setting goals, to questioning her talents, to losing her excitement in life, to losing her identity.
She stopped showing-up to WIN. She stopped living her life. She gave-up.
She was making life decisions based on the Opinions of Another.
As our coaching session was coming to a close this morning, I gave her some homework, and told her I couldn’t wait to pick back up next week during our next session.
Two hours after our coaching session, she phoned me back!!!
She said, “I had to call you… I know we have a long ways to go and I have a lot of work to do. But, the clarity I gained on when I started to sabotage myself in a BIG BAD WAY is blowing me away. So, I am starting with this one piece of PERMISSION. I have given myself permission today to BELIEVE in myself again.” She could barely get through her words, she was crying, laughing, yelling, and then all of a sudden… Her voice stabilized and was of PEACE.
She then, very clearly, said, “Today, I give myself Permission To BELIEVE in myself again.” After repeating it a dozen times, she started to Believe!!! How did I know? Because something shifted in her at the core, then her voice changed, and matched her words. It was heard, it was felt. She was CONGRUENT on this. She BELIEVED!
She’s in the process of discovering who she is again.
I can’t wait for her next coaching call, her next a-ha, her next decision, her next piece of clarity, her next level of awareness. I can’t wait to see where she’ll be and what her outcomes will be when we complete our coaching. My guess… She’ll be well on her way to creating the life again that SHE loves!!!
Can you relate? Can you identify with what happened to her? I believe at some level we all have had an experience or two in our lives where we lost sight of who we are, what we want, where we want to be, what we want to achieve in order to please others. Honor Yourself!!!
Don’t allow other people’s thoughts, opinions, comments, or actions keep you from being the natural brilliant, authentic genius that you already are.
Remember, The More You’re Authentically You…
The More ABUNDANCE YOU ATTRACT
Physically, Emotionally, Mentally, Spiritually, Financially.
Keep BELIEVING In You, Your Core Values, Your Core Passions, And The Very Essence Of Who You Already Are.